Less than two years ago, I began to have anxiety attacks. I would become paralyzed with fear when there was seemingly no reason for it. They would happen in normal everyday situations: When a teacher would talk to me, when I didn’t understand something, being surrounded by a sea of functioning and high-preforming people. Quite often I found myself being scared half to death if someone made a move to make physical contact with me such as a pat on the shoulder at school, or a hug from my family. I was at an utter loss of how to solve the problem.

 

My family took me to a doctor and he officially diagnosed me with Anxiety and Depression. I was given a liquid form of the medication “Paxil” and told that it might be necessary to titrate, or adjust the balance of the dosage. My behavior began to even out and I gradually began to have less panic attacks, although I still have issues with being touched.

 

Getting the panic attacks under control, and being able to communicate what I was having issues with were steps in the right direction towards allowing myself to concentrate on and finish my school work.

 

During the Winter Break and just after the first semester though, I had decided that my medicine was no longer needed and I went off of it. My parents and friends noticed big changes in my behavior though. I was more easily aggravated and was not as with it as I should have been. When I got back to school my grades immediately began to drop. When I started taking my medicine again, I was able to start getting back on track.

 

After I got back on my medicine though, I began to feel quite bad about the fact that I needed medicine to function like everyone else. That I needed an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) made me upset, and the fact that I had dropped out of CC+ Chinese after only one semester was awful for me.

 

I began to see a counselor to talk to her about how I might be able to solve some of my issues surrounding time management and organization.

 

I’ve been making progress with this challenge even if it’s been taking a lot of time an effort. This is something I work at overcoming every single day that I take my medicine, every time I meet with my councilor, or accept the fact that I need help with certain tasks. I am learning and growing with the rest of my peers and I will continue to work towards becoming a teacher who can accommodate all type of children with all types of learning styles, strengths, and disabilities.